Healing ain't a piece of cake

I have recently learnt that even the happiest people are not trauma free. Everyone has or had something to deal with in their life, be it direct or shared/ passed trauma. It takes a lot to free from things that are like necrosis to your mental health. There's this guy, who used to talk a lot and presented himself as the most fun loving person you ever came across of, but was he dealing with something too? Yes. It's true, we as human always try to underestimate our plate of happiness and overestimate our plate of pain. But as they say- no pain, no gain. My trauma ain't easy to deal with too. But, am I weak ? Probably, cause all that crying really messed up with my limbic system chemistry. Will I snap out of it someday? Definitely. Sometimes I feel, everybody hates me. Sometimes I feel loved by a handful of people. Sometimes I feel loved by all. But is it me, who's the problem? No, it's the situations. 

What I need when I'm growing through something terrible in my life? This could be a helpful guide for my situationship non-boyfriend boyfriend, if he'll ever read it. I don't feel like sharing it with everyone, but when I do , I can only confide in that one person. I just want to rant until my throat starts to hurt and you need to just listen and make me laugh through it all. You need to understand that if I could I'd take away your pain too, but you need to be my rock too sometimes. Maybe talk flirty with me, as I giggle and fantasize about marrying you in the most romantic of places. Life could be a cakewalk, if between career, family and lovelife, even one thing is going right and your way.

Someday I'd like to post my wedding picture in a blog, where I'd caption it, " I finally manifested the love of my life, to be my partner for 7 lifetimes ." Honestly, dreaming about him is the only way out of those trauma-ridden ugly mental pictures for me. If you're going through something, find your own safe space, your own lifeboat.

I started from healing and trauma, and look where I've gotten to. Doing justice to my page title. You cannot take someone else's healing journey and make it your own. You'll have to find your own path through the maze. But first step will always be , I'll get through this just fine.

Just fine!